I Never Knew How Scary Squirrels Were

I never knew how scary squirrels were until today when I ran upon a bunch of them. At first I thought they were just randomly hanging out but then I noticed that they were having a meeting. What really tipped me off was the gavel the main squirrel had plus all the other squirrels were wearing wigs like the early fathers of America used to wear...only much, much smaller, of course. Then I realized that they were following Roberts Rule of Order (I think they were going over subsidiary motions). It then dawned on me that i know far less about squirrels than I thought I did.

They obviously did not like the fact that I had interrupted their meeting and they put me on the stand. Now I have seen Emperors New Groove, luckily, so I was able to speak a little bit of squeakums but not nearly enough to plead my case. I was about to experience death by acorns but just in the knick of time a huge grizzly bear showed up. He destroyed the squirrels, untied me from the tree, and invited me to his cave. We enjoyed a nice Shepherds Pie and finished it off with some seven layer chocolate cake. It was exquisite. I can't remember when I've had a better meal made by a grizzly bear.

It was getting late and he invited me to stay. Ted - oh yeah...the grizzly's name is Ted Brogan....silly me i left that out, was an excellent host. He read me some Tolstoy, let me use the fancy soap, then let me win at baseball on his Wii. Turns out the cave was only a one bedroom and when it came time to go to sleep he took up all the room and he hogged the covers. I decided to sneak out and find my way back home so I could get a decent nights rest. I found a pad and pencil and left a note but I still feel a little bad about leaving without officially saying goodbye.

I learned many things on my hike today...never make eye contact with a squirrel, don't judge a book by its cover, and always help with the dishes if ever in a Grizzly Bear cave. I am so glad Ted Brogan was there today; i feel so bad that I've always been afraid of Grizzlies. I hope to go see Ted soon and maybe I'll bring him that iphone he kept hinting that he wanted. Silly Ted.