My sister, Heather, had baby #2 today. It was awesome. Katherine Hays Couch arrived sometime this afternoon....it was after my chicken burrito but before my softball game. I'll say around 1:30. The day was awesome for many reasons. Meeting Katie Hayes was rad but anytime I get to hang out with my family I am happy. Mainly because I laugh a lot. At them.
Every single thing my parents do is an ordeal. Have you ever taken your Grandparents anywhere? Like to the mall or a baseball game? You know how it is a HUGE ordeal? Well, that is every single day with my parents. Seemingly simple tasks become massive mountains of dramatic dealings. Like finding a parking spot. Most normal human beings would drive around till they find an empty spot at which point they would pull into said parking spot. Here is what Ron and Freida do:
Drive about 6 miles per hour till they find a spot. Swing out extra wide to fit the Buick into the spot only to see that a motorcycle is parked there (this almost ruins their day). Luckily there is another spot 4 down from the fake-out and Mom stops the car to inspect the spot. The cars on either side didn't leave enough "Freida Space" (Freida Space is a spot that will allow her to open all 4 doors to her car at the same time and pull out 4-600 bags, pocket books, magazines, anvils, snacks, bottles of water, a coat, and all the other necessities that Mom carries with her everywhere she goes). This spot is way too small for Mom so we keep moving. Finally she found a spot that was to her liking. Mom decided to back into the spot so she pulls past it and then a car coming the other way stops and puts it's turn signal on, claiming said spot that Freida rightfully owns. Well Mom, or Confrontation Lover, as we call her sometimes, yells that she's going to back into the spot but the other lady has no idea what she's saying. Probably because no one on the planet backs into a parking spot ever. Mom does. But the other lady is in the way so both cars sit at a dead stand still as Mom makes some absurd hand signals which she thinks is sign language for backing a car in a spot. Other lady doesn't budge. After much frustration Mom pulls off angrily. We circle the lot a few more times then decide to park in the first spot we found that was lacking Freida Space. It had tons of space.
I could write for days about all the crazy stuff Ron and Freida did. I realized that anytime I need new material for my blog all I need to do is hang out with them for a day. I love my parents by the way....every single thing they do makes me laugh. I think Mom missed her calling as a used car salesman and Dad missed his as a Barker Beauty. I don't even know what that means. All I know is that mom could saaaaaaale some used cars. She could also be a kickboxer, drill sergeant, or clown.
But I am an uncle again. I love being an uncle. I continue being the non contributing waif that my parents envisioned. I am on a noble quest to grow tons of hair on my face and head. My sister laughed at me as soon as I walked in (she dreamt that katie had a tail the night before last so you can't worry about her too much) but the hot nurse (who wanted me, duh) referred to me as "the guy with all the hair" (maybe she didn't want me). Nonetheless the hair prevails. Harlan enjoyed meeting his sister and it was a really fun day. My parents need their own ride at Carowinds.
No comments:
Post a Comment