The Beard Won

So I've always wanted to have tons of hair and a huge beard. What real man hasn't had that dream? I have been growing my hair for 6 months or so and the beard has been rocking for a little over 2 months. I recently looked in the mirror and realized I look terrible. Why has this always been my dream? I don't know.

Lots of funny things have been happening lately. I was walking in close proximity to a mother and her 6 or 7 year old son and when she saw me she did the double look and pulled her son closer to her side. When I went to see my sister in the hospital the first thing she said was "gross, you look terrible". Geez, do I look that bad. The answer is yes. When Harlan saw me recently he was super confused because he recognized my voice but had no idea who the cave man was. Oh, this gets me to all the things I have been called...Geico Cave Man, Jesus, Keith Green, Rambo (i wore a head band last week), Afro Ninja (i called myself that), Castaway, Grizzly Adams, Brad Pitt, and many, many others.

But I lose. The beard won. I almost past out from lack of fluids just walking outside yesterday so i cut it. I thought what a sad, pathetic man I am then i realized something - this is America. Who cares if Jeremy Bricker has the hottest beard/hair combo I have ever seen. He lives in Seattle. What's the hottest it gets there....73, 75 maybe?? This is the dirty South. We warm up around 85...max out around 118. No one in their right mind can rock the Grizzly Adams here. I did talk the big talk but in the end I fell victim to the beard. He wins. I am clean cut. I could work at Upward right now.

We documented the extravaganza tonight so you will get to enjoy all the dumb things we shaved into my face and all the hot poses I created. Those will be up one day. To all of you men (or scary women) out there who have a dream of beards and afros: I say do it! Do not tarry, least ye falter, act now or you shan't ever accomplish thy dream. I had a good run and I am not ashamed. But I am ready, with my weirdly white sectioned face, to face summer with all of my might. Bring it on South Carolina sun, bring it on.