Keeping Me Humble

Tonight at United (a rad, student led ministry at Wofford where I lead worship) I was singing Marvelous Light and it was super fun and everyone was singing loud and whatnot....then I decided to go into the part of Jesus Paid It All that says "Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead"....you know....but I hadn't practiced it or anything but I had been singing it all day and knew it'd be a great little chorus to throw in.  

When I got finished singing that part I wanted to end by singing the chorus (Jesus paid it all/all to Him I owe/sin had left a crimson stain/He washed it white as snow) but I got about this far:

Je...

uhhh  Je....

Jesus...

I couldn't find the note!  I am on the stage in front of thousands of people (or 80) and I am stuck!  I ended on a C and I needed to sing a G and I couldn't find it anywhere.  This has never happened ever.  Ever.  I don't have a clue what people did (i am sure they felt awkward for me.....oh MAN, I made people feel uncomfortable....that stinks...haha) b/c I was on the stage trying to find the note.  I was perplexed.  That G was hiding....and I never did find it. 

I think I said something like "sorry, I'm the worst worship leader ever" or something like that....because the moment was OVER.  I just drew a blank and stopped.  Wow

Now, I take full responsibility for tonights debacle but I must tell you something.  I have been super sick this week - sore throat, head ache, stopped up nose and ears, my balance has been off.....and I had trouble singing the first couple songs.  My head felt weird.  I was struggling to sing.  Then I just crashed and burned.....you must understand as a singer not being able to find a note is odd....notes just come natural.  It's like a nascar driver forgetting how to change gears (not a sport) or a lumber jack forgetting how to swing an axe (definitely a sport).  My ears popped during the middle of United and I could hear and singing on key got easier.  

Like I said, I take responsibility....I am a loser....some people pointed that out to me afterwards (with love and it was very funny) but this cold didnt help.  It was probably my biggest mess up since the year 2000 at USCs FCA when I was leading worship with Christy Parker and forgot how to play Shout to the North as we were in the middle of it.  I just stopped and said "uhhh...next song".  Yikes.  Was anyone there?  Do you remember that?  Wow.  

But that stuff keeps me humble.  It's hard to think you're the man when that happens and I love it.  I'm playing at Upward in about 6 hours...I hope it goes better.  Haha.  

Disclaimer:  As a worship leader, I trust God is in control of everything.  He dictates what happens...not me.  So why did He decide to hide the G from me tonight?  Where is the line between practicing (works) and trusting God will make it work (faith)?  All I know is I am called to play skillfully and trust Him.  Beyond that I don't know much.