Friday, December 26, 2008

Come on, security guard

I haven't blogged in a long time because I have been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at what you may ask....I don't know. Maybe refinancing the house, lots going on at church, Christmas, new musicians in the band, girls (or lack thereof)....whatever it was, I have felt like there aren't enough hours in the day. But I just had one of the best Christmas' ever with Ron, Freida, and the Couch's (my sister and brother-in-law...not furniture...furniture would never effect my Christmas, come on) and it's party time again.

It is 9 am, the day after Christmas, and I have been to Charlotte and Greenville already. Why? Well, that's simple - to pick up the Bricker's from the airport, duh. They are good friends who live in Seattle and I always pick them up when they fly in. They are neat.

Jay rode with me. We left Spartanburg at 5:15 am. It took us forever to get to the airport...we arrived around 6:45 and sat at the pick-up place till about 7:05 when an airport security guard started flashing his wand/flashlight thingy at us. I don't speak wand so I asked him what he wanted....the following ten minute were the most frustrating/hilarious moments of my post-Christmas morn:

He said we had to move. I patiently described to him that our friend's plane had just landed and they'd be out any moment..."can I stay here until they come out...they'll be here in about 3 minutes" I pleaded.

"If you could stay parked here I wouldn't be asking you to move" he logically stated - which made Jay and me laugh uncontrollably. "That's a true story", I said in between breaths as Jay pointed to me and said "he's right". His reply was straight up dry and hilarious but he didn't even pretend to smile. So we drove off.

It takes about 30 seconds to drive around and get back exactly where we were so we parked again....this time in zone D instead of zone B....tricky. Bricker called and said he was walking out. The security guard approached my vehicle and flashed his wand at me again and I got out, opened the back doors on my car and politely told him my friends we're currently walking out.

He was a meany pants and said I had to move. I then asked him to correct me if I was wrong but this was indeed the "pick-up" area at the airport or was I lost....because I was waiting on my friends who were about 10 seconds away. He said. "I'll believe that when I see them". What?? Did he think my Friday routine involves waking up at 5 am, driving to Charlotte-Douglas International Airport, and just sitting in my car drinking coffee and trying to pick up chicks? (hey, thats not a bad idea)

Or he thinks that you should arrive at the exact moment your party is walking out the door and your car never should come to a perfect stop....or if they are a little late you should keep driving and make your friends chase your car like a dog. George was getting upset.

He got out his ticket book and started writing me a ticket and said if my friends didn't get there before he was done then I was in trouble (oh man...decision time...how far away are Welles and Jeremy?? Should I leave?? Should I stay to prove that I am not a liar/sleazy dirtbag who's there just to pick up chicks?? How much will the ticket be?? Can he write tickets lightning fast or do I have a few minutes??)

Luckily the Brickers walked out the door as he started writing. He continued writing until I loaded their bags and drove off.

Man, seriously?? Who does that happen to? What on earth was his deal? He runs a tight ship over there at arriving flights. Word to the wise...never get to the airport early or you will rue the day you agreed to pick up your friends.....OR you'll laugh all the way home at how ridiculous your life is.

1 comment:

Erin/Эркинай said...

Wow, Josh. It would only happen to you, my friend. Only to you.

Charlotte Douglas is a pretty nice airport, though. Other than the statue of the Queen there, who has scared me since my childhood. I just knew from the first time I saw her that she wanted to eat me with ranch dressing.