I Am A Dork

Yesterday I was standing in line at Chick Fil A and there were 4 guys standing next me. They were from Brooklyn or Boston or some cool city that gives you a hardcore accent. Two of the guys were wearing cut off t-shirts that showed their huge arms covered in tattoos and the others were wearing backwards caps which is the international sign for cool, right? They were being all loud and stuff and pushing each other and trying to mess each other other up when ordering. The first guy ordered 2 combos. I tell you all of this to let you know that they were 100% dudes. I could tell they were kinda looking at me and just about that time my vanilla milkshake with a cherry on top came out. I was like...."uuhhhhhhh, thanks (in my high, girl voice). I felt like a 4th grader. Could I be any nerdier?

The Man

Ridings/Couch Combo named Katie

My sister, Heather, had baby #2 today. It was awesome. Katherine Hays Couch arrived sometime this afternoon....it was after my chicken burrito but before my softball game. I'll say around 1:30. The day was awesome for many reasons. Meeting Katie Hayes was rad but anytime I get to hang out with my family I am happy. Mainly because I laugh a lot. At them.

Every single thing my parents do is an ordeal. Have you ever taken your Grandparents anywhere? Like to the mall or a baseball game? You know how it is a HUGE ordeal? Well, that is every single day with my parents. Seemingly simple tasks become massive mountains of dramatic dealings. Like finding a parking spot. Most normal human beings would drive around till they find an empty spot at which point they would pull into said parking spot. Here is what Ron and Freida do:

Drive about 6 miles per hour till they find a spot. Swing out extra wide to fit the Buick into the spot only to see that a motorcycle is parked there (this almost ruins their day). Luckily there is another spot 4 down from the fake-out and Mom stops the car to inspect the spot. The cars on either side didn't leave enough "Freida Space" (Freida Space is a spot that will allow her to open all 4 doors to her car at the same time and pull out 4-600 bags, pocket books, magazines, anvils, snacks, bottles of water, a coat, and all the other necessities that Mom carries with her everywhere she goes). This spot is way too small for Mom so we keep moving. Finally she found a spot that was to her liking. Mom decided to back into the spot so she pulls past it and then a car coming the other way stops and puts it's turn signal on, claiming said spot that Freida rightfully owns. Well Mom, or Confrontation Lover, as we call her sometimes, yells that she's going to back into the spot but the other lady has no idea what she's saying. Probably because no one on the planet backs into a parking spot ever. Mom does. But the other lady is in the way so both cars sit at a dead stand still as Mom makes some absurd hand signals which she thinks is sign language for backing a car in a spot. Other lady doesn't budge. After much frustration Mom pulls off angrily. We circle the lot a few more times then decide to park in the first spot we found that was lacking Freida Space. It had tons of space.

I could write for days about all the crazy stuff Ron and Freida did. I realized that anytime I need new material for my blog all I need to do is hang out with them for a day. I love my parents by the way....every single thing they do makes me laugh. I think Mom missed her calling as a used car salesman and Dad missed his as a Barker Beauty. I don't even know what that means. All I know is that mom could saaaaaaale some used cars. She could also be a kickboxer, drill sergeant, or clown.

But I am an uncle again. I love being an uncle. I continue being the non contributing waif that my parents envisioned. I am on a noble quest to grow tons of hair on my face and head. My sister laughed at me as soon as I walked in (she dreamt that katie had a tail the night before last so you can't worry about her too much) but the hot nurse (who wanted me, duh) referred to me as "the guy with all the hair" (maybe she didn't want me). Nonetheless the hair prevails. Harlan enjoyed meeting his sister and it was a really fun day. My parents need their own ride at Carowinds.

Freida Ridings

Possibly the coolest person on earth. She came by today to do the Harlan swap at my house, the midpoint of Boiling Springs and Greenville, of course. While she was here she cleaned my room. I don't know if this is awesome or embarrassing. All I know is my room is clean and that is awesome. I dont mind washing clothes but I do mind folding and putting them away. It is weird to have clothes in my drawers and closet. They're supposed to be on my couch and floor, duh. (I am listening to Michael Buble right now and you got to watch out with that guy. He'll throw a song like "Home" at you and you'll be totally feeling it then some terrible song with horns will play next and completely ruin the mood. I am convinced he has 2 good songs. Back to Mom.)

When Harlan got here he and I partied in the front yard then he followed me inside, walking right past Mom who was trying to talk to him. I am pretty sure Harlan was saying "guitar" or "uncle Josh is the man" and Mom said "What am I....invisible?". It was hilarious. Freida, the answer when Ron or I are around is "yes, you are invisible".

The reason for this post about Ora Al'Freida Morris Ridings (yep) is that I realized this afternoon that I got mom's gene for not liking a song when you first hear it...at all. I went to a Jesus thing once where Chris Tomlin was leading worship and he had just written "How Great is Our God". I think it was the first time he played it ever. After it was done, I was like, "that song is no good. Try again.". 17 Dove awards and Songwriter of the Year later I admit I wasn't completely correct. I do not like a song ever after the first time I hear it. Neither does Mom. Let me tell you how I know this.

I wrote a couple of songs this week with my friend J Crowe and I haven't played them for anyone yet. So since Harlan loves the guitar and I think this one song is really good, I played it for them. I always am nervous to play a new song for people: that feeling will never go away. So I played it and when it's done Mom says, "No Bridge? You know what you ought to do..." then she preceded to tell me what I should do. Luckily when the Morris-Ridings gene converged it created the toughest skinned person around when it comes to criticism (some things still make me cry but I will not tell you what they are; I have a reputation to uphold.)

But I love Mom and agree, the song needs a bridge. I was already working on one. One thing I have learned very recently - Not everyone is going to like your stuff. Plus lots of crappy art gets really famous. So who is to say what's good or not? I personally think "Moondance" by Van Morrison is the worst song I have ever heard. If Shag walked into my room and told me he wrote a new song and played that I would tell him to try again.

Not every song I write is going to be good. How many CDs have you bought and loved every song? Not many. I think if you are a song writer, painter, writer, or whatever, you should keep making your art regardless of what people think. You shouldn't be afraid to play a song for your friends or Mom (Mom thinks I am the man so don't think she is mean. She rules. It's b/c of her that I love music. Plus the song I played her is pretty darn good. I will not invite her to the Grammys next year). If you are no good, you will get better. If you are good, you will make a lot of people happy. Seriously, if people like Metallica and Celine Dion can make it big, anyone can. Keep plugging along. Who knows how close you are to your "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Yuck.


Update: If you don't know Freida Ridings you need to. It'll make your life complete. She hangs out at the main branch on the Post Office in Spartanburg. Ask for her by her code name, Friendly Freida Freestyle.

Fajitas, Dumpster Diving, and Tow Trucks

Last night was the weekly Chuck Fields hangout. He's my BFF. Duh. I like to look at my life and wonder how in the world things have fallen into place as they have. You know that verse in Ephesians that says "to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine"....yeah, well God has done that with me. Back to Chuck Fields. He is 41 and the man and we met at Hope Point probably but I also bought a house a few years ago down the street from him. So we hung out a lot and now we like to sing "My Buddy" together on our Teddy Ruxpins.

Last night we ate at Monterrey, of course, then he needed to find some boxes for his daughter b/c she's moving out of her dorm. We went to Ingles to no avail (they were way rude to me....see if I ever ask a huge cooperation for a favor again. jerks) so we left. As we were pulling out we saw a glorious cardboard box that seemed to be in mint condition across the road.....in a dumpster. I pulled in and we opened up the huge door on the dumpster. We hit the jackpot. This dumpster was filled with terrific treasure. We pulled all the boxes out and put them in my car (did I mention that Chuck is also the head elder at Hope Point). As we were leaving Chuck said liquor stores were the mecca of cardboard boxes so I pulled into the front of a store like an idiot. This is what happened:


Me: oh man, I think liquor stores close at 7

Chuck: what are you doing? Drive around back to the dumpsters.

Me: Oh yeah, I forgot that's what we're doing now. Sorry.


He was right. Jackpot. That dumpster was just waiting for us to arrive. My favorite sentence of the night: "Grab that Bud Light box. They're the best!". Chuck was so happy. Before we get to Chucks house we go by Roger's (the accountant at Hope Point who is very intimidating but also the nicest, jolliest, tallest, baldest guy around) to get something. I make Chuck give him my monthly expense report b/c I am a baby and get scared around him. Anyway, we get in the car to leave and my car won't start. Everything just went black. Nothing.

Chuck is a member of AAA so he calls a tow truck. Meanwhile I walk around the neighborhood and talk to a few folks who live there that I used to teach with. It was great to catch up. Then Chuck and I laid in Rogers driveway and admired the almost full moon with the clouds flying past it. I was caught in a moment as Roger walks out and asks what the heck we were doing. I asked if he wanted to join us on the cement. He declined.

It ended up just being a battery. On the way home I was thinking about what a fun night it was. I love dumb nights that you would never script. Chuck and I got to hang out for a long time; I saw some friends from Oakbrook; had some delicious chicken fajitas; got a brand new battery; and got to dig through some dumpsters. That's what I am going to do on my next date. Lucky girl....way better than dinner and a movie.

My Savior, My God

Everlasting God

After a guy at Wofford told me he saw my video on You Tube and I was extremely confused I found these. I am wearing my favorite shirt. Thats why they sound so good, I think. Wait, they might sound bad. I don't think I am allowed to say that I am awesome. Enjoy.

Greatest Nickname Ever

When my friend Jason Burkhead was in 10th grade the varsity baseball team brought him up from JV to play in the playoffs. Now, you must know, Burkhead might just be the coolest guy around. He's about 5'6'' tall, 140 pounds, has a huge afro and laughs all the time. He will also kick your rear in any sport or hike. Just invite him along next time you go to Table Rock and he will destroy you. Anywho, before the game both teams lined up on the 1st and 3rd base lines to get their names called out. Everything was going as planned for the announcer that night until he stumbled upon the tongue twister - Jason. This posed far too complicated a problem and he did what anybody would do in his situation....just make up a ridiculous fake name. So instead of saying "Jason Burkhead" this is what came out:

"J.....Ja......Ja.......Jaba Barslar!!"

That's right. Jaba Barslar. Of course everyone laughed and called him that the next 3 years of high school. How in the world did the guy get Jaba Barslar out of Jason Burkhead? Who knows. Some things are just too awesome for our explanation. So please tell Jaba hi next time you see him.

Doing it

I think I may have had the most fun 2 weeks ever. Here is a recap:

• Leading worship 5 times in 5 days including Hope Point, Wofford, Upward and Ninety - Six (that is a town. It's named 96 because thats how old everyone is there and also thats the population.)

• Going to Jason and Deb's wedding. It was awesome. I didn't know if I would know anyone at the rehearsal dinner but there were tons of people I knew there. AND the people I didn't know were awesome (Jason's friends are neat) and I know them now. A highlight of the dinner was when I asked Jason's 200 year old grandmother, who was hilarious, if I could have some honey bees. That's when she rubs her fingers on your forehead, giving you goosebumps, and making you immediately fall asleep. I got $20 from Jason's Dad for asking her.
  

• Hitting 3 homers in one night. I was a man among boys that night, ladies and gentlemen. I do not hit home runs so 3 in one night is a feat. One was a grand slam. I was happy.
  

• Josh Ridings Day. I lead worship at Upward every Wednesday, where I used to work. I am known for wearing flip flops, jeans, t shirts, and a hat. So last Wednesday I walk in and everyone is wearing flip flops, jeans, t shirts, and a hat. It was 7:45 am so I didnt think anything of it. I dont think that early. But the HR lady got up and announced that is was Josh Ridings day. They gave me a gift and told me how cool it is to see God using me big time. It was sooooooooooo much fun. I have the coolest life ever. No one there should like me b/c of what a punk I was when I worked there. But they love me. It was yet another reminder of how mysterious the ways of God are. I love going to Upward.
  

• Ron and Frieda. I have had much more time with the Ridings lately and it makes me happy. My parents are the 2 most fun people on earth.

• Babysitting Harlan. My nephew. He lists the things he loves when he first wakes up and I make the top 5 every time. I watched him Monday and he was asleep when I got there. So when he awoke he was surprised to see me instead of my sister coming to get him. He said, "Doggy, Sock, GUITAR" when I walked in. Top 3. (oh yeah he calls me guitar sometimes). He loves me and my Dad tons.
  

• My house being painted. Yay!! I love my house. By the way, anyone is welcome to come see it anytime and tell me how awesome it is.
  

• New Subs at Hope Point. Those are the speakers that make the low noise. Anyone who sits in the front 3 rows is in for a surprise now. They will be rocked.
  

• Writing songs. I wrote 2 songs tonight with my good friend J Crowe and I think they're pretty good. I like writing songs with 2 people and J Crowe is one of those people. Shag is the other.
  

• Lowering the temperature 1 degree in my house. It used to be 71 and now it's 70. That's Fahrenheit. It feels delicious in here.
  

• Playing paintball. I haven't played paintball in 15 years. I playing with Jason and his friends from Chicago and Indiana before the wedding and it was AWESOME. I didn't know the beauty of hitting someone over and over with a ball of paint. I loved it. Running around, shooting people, yelling, twisting ankles, eating pizza, sweating tons.....what more could you ask for? Nothing.
  

I apologize to all the other awesome things that happened lately that I forgot to mention. This has been a sweet time lately. I have felt closer to the Lord these past few weeks than usual. I have been reading Zeph. 3:17 a lot, which says, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.". I spend a lot of time singing. It is fun to think about God singing over me and rejoicing.

I have been blown away lately at how much fun my life is. Dig it.