Speciest

You know what I am tired of?  When you describe someone as "white" or black" and people make you feel like a racist.  You know?  This weekend I was at a party of all white people and my good friend Rachel came.  She's Malaysian.  I was talking about how awesome she is after she left and someone asked which one she was and I said, "the only not white one", to which I got a look that said "you are a grand dragon".  

My favorite sentence of all time is "I don't see color".  Well, I take it a step further....I dont see species.  From now on I am going to say things like, "Oh Rachel...she's human??...she could've been a sheep dog or a dolphin and I wouldn't have noticed...I don't see species.  You speciest.  

So when describing someone this is how my conversations are going to go:

Person:  "What's your friend Dodd like"

Me:  "Well, he rules.  Maybe you should date him"

Person:  "Cool, what's he look like"

Me:  "I don't see species.  He could be a giraffe or a hedge hog....who really knows?  He is just a beautiful mammal at heart and that's all that matters.  

And I am going to make people (I mean...mammals) feel really bad when they show signs of specism.  I guarantee trendy white mammals will pick this up and run with it because they are the most insecure type of species with mammary glands on the planet.