On Tour WIth Jerry Seinfeld

I did the coolest thing over the weekend; something that I've only dreamed of ever doing...I wouldn't have believed it had I not been there....I got a job at a tattoo parlor, no, I led worship at the Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium. Yay

It was awesome. We played for a conference last Saturday. We went early Friday morning to set up and do a sound check and walking in was hilarious. We just stood there like 14 year olds for about an hour. All the artists who have been there (Hank Williams Jr, Aaron Tippen, Derek Trucks, Jerry Seinfeld, Elmo) sign the walls around the stage. Oh yeah, the stage is 7 stories tall....it is the biggest stage I have ever played on. It was ridiculous.

We had a green room and catered food and dressing rooms, it was hot. But we are small time rednecks...we didn't know what was going on. All I could think about was this was the exact same stage Jerry Seinfeld stood on....his content was a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit different than ours....but, man, who would have ever guessed I'd be melting faces where Seinfeld had melted? Not this guy.

The coolest thing about it is we got to lead worship. I am super happy that I get to do what I love and I get fun opportunities like the Memorial Auditorium. I was like a little kid the entire day - running around the first 3 floors where all the dressing rooms are and the secret tunnels and a whole other auditorium in the basement...it was rad.

But I must say the only reason I get to stand on that stage (or a college campus or a church) is because of Jesus. I am not the greatest guitar player, I am not the funniest comedian, and I sure won't ever be in any beauty pageant (tons of Mrs South Carolina's signed the wall....whoooooooo cares). I am just a plain dude with a boring, high voice that loves to see the Holy Spirit usher people before the throne of God. And God continues to use me.

Okay, dumb story time: Since we were there, we had to do climb to the cat walk, duh. And Shag had dropped a doughnut from the top and it exploded. It was awesome. So we decided that we needed to drop a cream filled doug (umm, dougs) 7 stories onto Stu's stomach. Hes the man for volunteering. So I climb to the top with a day old cream filled doug and direct Stu to where I think it's going to land. I tell you, we should join the circus, that monster hit him right in the bread basket leaving a HUGE red mark and drawing a little blood. I wish you could've seen it.

The next time you get the opportunity to be on a gigantic stage do not pass up the chance to throw old food onto your friends. You'll be glad you didn't.

William Lowell Harritt pt 3

For those of you who dont know, Bill "Thicks" Harritt is the man. Is calling him "Thicks" mean? I don't know, I've never really thought about it till I saw it in writing just now. Anyway we went to the University together and had a class together freshman year. It was speech class, the one class that Bill and I were made for. After each speech all the students had to grade their peers and write a little comment about the speech. When Bill finished his speech I wrote "you are hot...how about you call me some time...wink". And he called me. It was BFF at first sight.

William is my clone. We are the same person. I love when he is home and visits me. If someone would have told us freshman year that we'd both be working for churches 9 years later we would've laughed really hard and loud. But, alas, here we are loving our jobs.

The final edition of the Bill Harritt visit was last night - we drove to Greenville to meet a "girl" who Bill claimed to know for supper. Of course we stopped for Duchess Honey Buns on the way...duh. Nothing cleanses the pallet like a ball of sugary dough. Funny, Bill's "friend" never showed up....."she" had a flat tire or the flu or got lost or something.

Just kidding. Brooke is the girl version of Bill..in dress only. I knew it was her when we drove up b/c she was wearing a mountain hadware jacket, flip flops, and a pink polo - Bill's favorite outfit (Bill's 2nd favorite outfit - Tri Delta t-shirt, super short shorts, and a pair of new balances....those are the only 2 outfits you will see Bill in....unless it is the morning before a Gamecock football game when he does his ritual dance around the house in his long johns....he is a weirdo).

We had big plans to wake up this morning early and grab coffee before he headed back to Alabama but he woke me up at 10 and said goodbye. Goodbye Bill, may your raspy yawn yell ring out in the ears of many, and may your future always be filled with the Duchess.

Bill Harritt part 2

Just to keep you up to date on my Monday with Bill.  We ate lunch with Freida (Bill looooooooooves Mom, duh) and came home.....at which point Bill laid on the couch and fell asleep immediately and is snoring louder than anyone has ever snored on earth.  

You should see him....man, you should HEAR him.  This is ridiculous.  He has 2 speeds...100 mph and asleep.  But he's just as loud during both states.  I love him.  

Sitting Ovation

Bill Harritt is in town and we were singing Chicago's "Hard For Me To Say I'm Sorry" at the top of our lungs at a red light and two super old chicks in a mini van next to us rolled down the window and clapped. I love when he's here.

The Internet Is Now Complete

I've been writing some worship songs with my good friends Shag and Willy lately.  We've recorded some and we think they're pretty neato.  As of late, we've decided to pursue music more than we have in the past.  We decided on a band name, by the way.... it's super creative....Josh Ridings.  

We're in the process of getting stickers made, putting together a media kit, and working on our website.  It's pretty hilarious.  We want to record a full album soon (after we raise lots of money).  So if you are rich and could give me some money that'd be great....I don't want to actually work for it.  

So check out the website:  www.joshridings.com.  It isn't finished.   Take a look at it, download some songs, and let me know what you think.  I seriously would love to hear some feedback.  We want to lead worship somewhere every day if we can.  Let me know if I should add or delete anything from the website.  Also, if you want a copy of our EP let me know.  

When you pray, please pray for me and Shag and Willy.  I want to listen to what God is saying.  We don't want to do the music thing just because it's cool...we feel God calling us to it.  So pray for us to have pure hearts and clean hands in all of this.  

ps - we have a manager.  who has managers?  i'll tell you who, rock stars.    

Hump Day?

I love Wednesdays. Mostly because I'm still on a high from United which is every Tuesday night but also b/c I lead worship at Upward every Wednesday morning at 8 am. I love Upward. If 2004 Josh could have read this blog he would be so confused. You see, I used to work at Upward and it just didn't work. I was in a cubicle, answering phones, and it was not for me. I started working January of 04 (at 175 lbs) and I left 50 lbs later (May 05). I am sure I was terrible to work with...when I try to do something that I'm not good at it isn't pretty. I complain, I cry, and mostly I lay on the floor in the fetal position asking for my Mom.

But the people there are great, which is evident. They helped me do my job better and they understood that sitting in a cubicle probably wasn't for me. Looking back I had so much fun there. I still hang out with Upward folks all the time....they have some of the best employees around. That's why I think God has a sense of humor. I complained all the time when I worked there (because I am a baby) so God gave me a pacifier in the form of a kick in the pants and now I love it. I was sick last week and couldn't be there and I missed it big time.

Changing the subject, my sister read the last post about old people and had some complaints. She was mostly upset that I posted on October 6th, her birthday, and didn't mention her....ummmm, happy late birthday, Heather. She also said the post was mean. So please know it isn't old people I was mad at....I dislike tour groups of all ages. They are annoying. They're super nerdy, also, usually because they're from Ohio (what's the deal with Ohioans and traveling??). So anytime I see a big traveling group I usually make fun of them...in love of course.

Last but not least, Laura Story is leading worship at Hope Point this week. I am pretty giddy about this. I respect her big time. She asked me to maybe sing or play acoustic with her...which is completely ridiculous. I am pumped. So please come. It going to be hot. I hope you have a lovely Wednesday.

Land Monsters

Today was going to be a great lunch. I was excited. It's not everyday that you get the chance to eat Cracker Barrel. Chicken N Dumplins or Chicken Fried Steak or Grilled Chicken Fingers....aahhhhhh, then there's breakfast - served all day! If you could get the greatest day of your life and transform it into one terrific restaurant you'd have the Cracker Barrel. I could barely contain myself on the drive over.

But the #1 worst thing that could ever happen ever was awaiting me in the parking lot upon arrival: a charter bus full of terribly dressed, lethargic, confused 80 year olds were piling into the restaraunt/country store. It was like they had never seen buildings before. They looked like a bunch of cows who had accidentally escaped the pasture and had no clue what to do next. I was in trouble. I ran inside, trying to bypass a few of the grazers, but it was futile. I stood at the podium forever as the hostess tried to communicate logically to these land monsters. Apparently "4 at a time" to an 80 year old means "please ignore me and just walk to a table in a huge cluster". It was mass chaos. There were old people everywhere - so confused and old.

I wondered (a little) why old people aren't normal. Why can't they hear? Why don't they listen? Why do they wear those clothes? Why do they look so out of place? I mostly wondered why these geezers were getting to eat the delicious food that was supposed to be mine. Goodbye biscuits and gravy.

But, alas, when life serves you lemons, you should be thankful for your youth and high metabolism and go to Ikes and eat a huge cheeseburger. It was delicious.

(note: please know that I love old people. Well, that's not true. I loved my grandpa, Pop, he was the man. I just really don't like when tons of old people, who should never leave their home, get on a tour bus, wear name tags, and decide to clog up production at the eatery in which I am visiting.)

MMORPG

If anyone already knows what a MMORPG is then you may need to go outside and play. How do I know about massively multiplayer online role playing games you ask?? Let me tell you.

I spent the nicest, most relaxing weekend at Windy Gap in Asheville, NC. I was the worship leader/adult leader for a High School's senior retreat. The kids were radical, the weather was awesome, and the food was free and delicious. We spent all day playing in the lake, hiking, doing the high ropes course, and just hanging out. It was great - no cell phones, no emails, just enjoying the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains.

On the next to last day I was sitting in the cabin and a guy sat down beside me and said, "man, I can't wait to go home." Thinking something was wrong I asked what was up. His reply: "I miss my computer." I laughed thinking he was joking. He was not.

What in the world has happened to cause high school seniors to overlook the beauty of God's creation and think about how much they miss World of Warcraft? It's ridiculous. I'm scared to have kids, seriously.

Nerdiest Workout Ever

As everyone knows I am the laziest person on earth when it comes to working out. I work out only to hang out with friends and tell jokes; I hate when it's my turn to lift an actual weight. In a given hour at the gym I'd say I am working out for about 6 minutes. Gold's Gym really saw me coming.

So I had the excellent idea last year to buy a bench press, some dumbells, and tons of extra weight. I actually was working out pretty regularly then I tore my shoulder, pulled a muscle in my left leg, and injured my lower back, which I had to have surgery on. Awesome.

After physical therapy, CT scans, MRIs, and surgery I decided to never work out ever again. It wasn't a hard decision....you should try it - when you have the urge to be active just pop in a movie and get some Doritos. It was all fun and games till I could feel my stomach touching my legs when I sat down. I had hit rock bottom.

Then my good friend Burkhead recommended a workout called P90X. I have always lifted free weights: this is a workout video. When I hear "workout video" I think Richard Simmons or Billy Blanks which makes me giggle. No way I'll ever be sweating to the oldies.

But I tried it and it killed me. It is the nerdiest thing I have ever done. I hate when people walk in b/c they laugh their heads off (which they should). It is so cheesy. But everyone who does it is sore for about 3 years afterwards. The workout is 7 days of different workouts. Each day is about an hour and a half, it uses very light weight, there are no breaks, and I cry a little every time I do it. It is rouuuuuuuuuuugh. But it is super nerdy. The trainer guy will get on your nerves big time (unless you like arrogant jerks who talk about themselves all the time).

So if you are fat and want to lose weight while getting made fun of by all your friends, I recommend P90X.