After hearing the huge news that Tiger Woods will be out the rest of the year due to reconstructive ACL surgery I decided to hit the course yesterday to fill the void that Tiger has left. I have never heard of any other golfer ever, which means they're no good right? Right, duh. I've played golf about 4 times (maybe) and 3 of those were Par 3's. But all you got to do is wear a pair of goofy pants, be fat, and put the ball in the hole. That's what the one other golfer I know said - Happy Gilmore.
Since I have dominated one old fat man sport, softball, I figured it's time to conquer another. So I am now a golfer. I shot a 47 on 9 holes which is a few under par, I believe. Maybe not. All I know is that I am going to go ahead and join the Golf Tour Thingy as soon as possible...maybe this weekend. There's tons of money to be had (doesn't Tiger make like $20 million a year and all the other guys make about $30,000 a year? Like I noted earlier....I don't think they're any good).
My friend Nic Lane and I played in Greenville. I used his clubs ( I had to rent a putter), balls, tees...ummmm, pretty much I showed up to the course with a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. Nic is the man. I lost tons of balls, almost hit a little girl that was 2 holes over, and can't putt to save my life. But Nic let me tee off three of four times on every hole and putt as many times as I wanted. It really was fun. I actually made a birdie (that's apparently when you get the ball in the hole with 1 less stroke than you are allowed).
Quick name 3 golfers. See, you can't do it. I know we'll all miss Tiger but don't worry...soon you'll be able to name 2 golfers: Tiger and Putty McLambshanks (that's my professional golf name).
3 comments:
The price is wrong, B
Seriously, we are playing every 3rd Wednesday of the month...Except for maybe not this month.
BJ Curtless is the greatest golfer of all time...don't you forget it.
josh, you should play golf with my dad someday. he plays three times a week, but i'm sure you could teach him a few tricks.
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